Sex Regret..

Alan J. Schwarz
13 min readFeb 26, 2020

Eddie Silk never parked illegally or did anything that would cause problems, it just wasn’t his nature. He had married his University girlfriend Abby, and had two wonderful daughters with her, Marla and Kacee.

During a business conference in Las Vegas, Eddie’s life changed dramatically. He was listening to a speaker discussing the value of business owning their own streaming channels when Joanne Timmins sat down beside him.

Joanne was about twenty six, which was more than half of Eddie’s age, and she was extremely attractive and smelled beautiful. In fact her fragrance was distracting. It had a nice floral scent and was not overpowering but it made a distinctive impression.

When the speaker wrapped up, Joanne turned to Eddie ‘’Hi, my name’s Joanne, what did you think of the discussion?’’ Eddie couldn’t believe she was engaging him in conversation. ‘’Uh, I thought it was interesting if you had enough content generated to maintain interest from potential customers and viewers, but I was disappointed that she didn’t discuss costs relating to content. I mean I’m sure you need a couple of people to keep creating new and well produced material, and technical support. In theory it sounds fantastic, but in practical terms, even though I know digital is the future I’m not convinced that every streaming channel is going to work. I would be worried my company’s channel would be lost in the clutter of the internet.’’

Joanne smiled at him. She had beautiful blue eyes that were sparkling and pink lipstick that complimented her lush blonde hair. ‘’Then I’m glad we met, I think we need to go for a drink later. My business is content building, and since I’m based out of Toronto our costs are much less than what you’d pay in the United States.’’

Eddie took a deep breath and almost released a sigh of relief. She wasn’t interested in him on a personal level, it was business, which was great. He had never strayed on Abby and for some reason he had temporarily considered it. He would have thrown twenty years of a solid marriage and famly down the shute for a romp. What was he thinking.

She smiled as she was studying his face. ‘’Why don’t we meet later at the Lily Bar at the Bellagio. That’s where I’m staying. How about eight thirty?”

Eddie smiled‘’ That works. I’m also staying at the Bellagio. I didn’t introduce myself, my name’s Eddie Silk and believe it or not my company is located at Yonge & St. Clair. ‘’ This solicited a chuckle from Joanne. ‘’Very cool, our offices are pretty close, I’m based at Yonge and Davisville. We could walk to meet each other in the middle. How wild is it that two people from Toronto meet each other in Vegas. I believe in karma. See you tonight at eight thirty.’

Joanne left and Eddie sat for a couple of extra minutes. He liked Joanne’s energy, and thought maybe they would be able to do business together. He immediately picked up his phone and made a FaceTime call to Abby. They talked for five minutes about mundane things, and she ended the conversation by wishing him fun and success. When he hung up he felt guilty for his earlier thoughts about stepping out on her. Abby was a solid wife and his soulmate.

There was a panel discussion on the value of podcasting and how to get recognition for your channel, and Eddie attended. The first thing he did was look around for Joanne but she was nowhere to be seen.

He went back to the Bellagio and took a long, luxuriating shower. Eddie paid special attention to what he was wearing and tried to be as ‘’cool’’ looking as possible. He splashed on some Polo Black and headed for the Lily Bar. He was ten minutes early.

A Hostess asked if he had reservations and Eddie wasn’t sure. He mentioned the name Joanne, and the Hostess scanned her reservation sheet and nodded. She led him to a corner area where there was two very well appointed chairs and a marble table. She asked if he wanted to order a drink, and he said he’d wait for his guest.

People were coming and going in the bar and Eddie felt a little lost. He checked his watch and it read eight thirty and there was no Joanne. He’d give her five more minutes and call it a night. He felt disappointed but things happen in life and maybe she had been held up at a panel discussion, or had simply forgotten.

A waitress came by to ask if she could get him anything, and again Eddie declined. She promised to come right back and went to a different table to take orders.

Eddie checked his watch. He was one of those people who always arrived early to meetings and it kind of bothered him that Joanne was late. It was now eight forty, he vowed to wait five more minutes and he would leave.

The waitress brought over a massive wine list and as Eddie was looking at the Bordeaux areas, he looked up to see Joanne heading towards him. His breath left his body. She was wearing a short black spaghetti strapped dress. She had on Stiletto shoes and looked like a vision. He reminded himself that they were there for business as he stood up to greet her. He kissed her on both cheeks and she reciprocated.

‘’I’m so sorry I’m late, I always have a ritual of taking a long bath before I go out on a date, whoops, I know this isn’t a date, but I still wanted to make a good impression, and I became so enthralled with a book I was reading in the bathtub that before I knew it, I was late. I’m never late for dates, whoops, there I go again, appointments, so I really apologize for making you wait, I hope I can make it up to you in some way.’’

Eddie’s mind was racing and his libido was raging. She had said date twice and it was either Freudian or had deeper meaning. He was once again completely distracted. Eddie didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but he was enthralled. Joanne Timmins was the most beautiful woman he had sat across from in years. He was a balding guy with a bit of a stomach. He couldn’t possibly believe she was interested in him in any kind of romantic way, it just didn’t seem possible, plus he was a married man.

‘’So, our offices are basically neighbours in Toronto, what about living space? Are you near Forest Hill?’’ Eddie shook his head. ‘’I have a really nice house in Markham. My wife and I built it about five years after we got married. I love it, it has a big backyard and a great pool. I have enough rooms to escape into, and of course my man cave with a brand new eighty inch five K televison.’’

The waitress came over and Joanne ordered a Blueberry Bellini. ‘’I like to order blueberry, it is supposed to have extra health elements.’’ They both laughed and Joanne looked at him in a very serious kind of way. ‘’Are you and your wife happy?’’

Eddie thought it was an odd question, but he didn’t hesitate to answer. ‘’We’ve been married twenty years, we have two wonderful daughters, so things are good.’’

The Waitress put the drink down in front of Joanne and Eddie ordered a Jack Daniels on the rocks.

Joanne took a very seductive sip from her drink and looked at Eddie like she was studying every inch of his face. ‘’I dated this guy in University. After we graduated we split up. About six months later he met a woman who he immediately proposed to. They got married and I saw him three years ago. I asked him the exact same question, and he gave me a similar answer. I heard from him three months ago. His wife and he are divorcing and he wanted to ask me out. I turned him down, I’m not a rebound woman. The thing is he never said he was happy and neither did you.’’

Every night before he went to bed, Eddie put on an old classic movie, lately he had been watching films starring Kim Novack and in a strange way Joanne reminded him of the character Kim played in the movie ‘’Pushover’’

‘’I guess I’m happy. I mean my wife Abby and I have been married for twenty years. We’ve both been faithful and caring. She is a tremendously good person and does a lot of charity work. We have two really lovely daughters, my oldest is probably your age. So things are good with us.’’

Joanne took her finger and went around the rim of her martini glass. ‘’If you had a hall pass would you use it? If I told you I found you extremely attractive and I wanted to, uh, experience you, would you allow me to follow my desire to the ultimate end.’’

To say that he was taken aback would have been an understatement. This beautiful woman, had just said ‘’I find you extremely attractive.’’ It was hard to believe she was talking about him.

‘’Joanne, I think you are probably the most beautiful woman I have met in years. You are absolutely gorgeous. I mean you could be on the cover of Vogue. Why would you want to get involved with an older man? When you sat down I saw every guy in the place, turning their heads just to get a quick look at you.’’

The waitress came over with another Jack on the rocks and another Bellini. ‘’I have always had a thing about older guys. I don’t know what it is. It rocks my world. I can’t believe you are even allowing me to share my fantasy with you. I also have to be honest, I want this to be our first date. I took my long bath for you, I got myself ready for you. I know this is very forward, and you might want to run, but when I saw you in the conference hall, I had to meet you. You know they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Your wife will never ever have to know. We’re here for a couple more days. Let’s not waste them. Let’s make our time together count.’’

While Eddie was trying to figure out what to say and do, Joanne stood up. ‘’I am just going to the woman’s. Please don’t leave without me.’’ She smiled a beautiful smile.

Eddie admired the way her hips and butt moved in perfect rhythm as she walked away. He was in a moral quandary. He could have an affair but it would remove the words sacred and trust from his relationship. Would a couple of nights of sex be worth ruining his relationship with his wife. If he started with Joanne, would he be able to stop when they returned to Toronto? She was younger than his oldest daughter, wasn’t that kind of creepy?

The waitress asked if he wanted another Jack on the Rocks and he replied he did and suggested she bring another Bellini as well.

It wasn’t long before Joanne returned and she came right over to the left side of his head and whispered in Eddie’s ear ‘’I was thinking about everything, and I want you. I want you to come back to my suite with me and make love to me. I want to feel you deep inside of me.’’ She then gently took her lips and kissed his ear.

Coinciding with her sitting down was the arrival of another Jack and her Bellini. Eddie was beyond stunned. Nothing like this had ever happened in his life. Even when he was much younger he hadn’t been propositioned by a beautiful woman.

He was sipping on his drink when he felt a toe go up towards his groin. Joanne was moving her foot around his privates and she had a big smile on her face. ‘’Eddie, I’m getting hornier. How much longer before we can go upstairs?’’

It was decision time, Eddie had to make a choice. Wild, passionate sex, or a return to his room and his normal life. The more he was trying to figure out the right course of action, the more his Johnston was getting excited. He had to make the biggest decision he had ever had to make since he was married. He had once been semi-propositioned by a secretary, but this was overt and real.

Finally, Joanne stood up and gave him a look ‘’Let’s get the bill and go upstairs to my suite. We can relax up there away from everybody, just you and me. You know how they said in the seminars about opening new channels, I want you to open my channel.’’

Eddie motioned for the bill and the waitress brought it over. He took out his debit card and paid and added a little extra to the tip. Eddie and Joanne walked through the casino to the elevator bank. Joanne showed security her card and they walked to the elevator and got in. It was just the two of them and Joanne pushed the tenth floor. Eddie’s suite was on the sixteenth.

As soon as the doors closed Joanne looked at Eddie, and said ‘’Kiss me.’’ There was a hesitation that Eddie couldn’t explain. He was aroused and she was beautiful but it was still awkward. Joanne must have sensed it, because she initiated the kissing, including her tongue in Eddie’s mouth.

It was bliss, it was heaven, it was perfect, and Eddie knew with every fibre in his body it was wrong.

They walked hand in hand down the hall to Joanne’s suite and Eddie knew the moment he walked in the door, there would be no turning back. She opened it, took his hand and led him in.

The room looked the same as his, and he watched Joanne kick off her shoes and head towards him. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him with a passion. She then reached down and started opening his pants. She pulled out his belt and undid his top button. She slowly was pushing his pants down.

‘’Oh I like it Eddie, I like it. Help me out of my dress. As he started helping her slip off her dress, he could feel his pants falling down.

The dress fell to the floor and she was wearing a black lace bra and panties and looked magnificent. She was a Victoria Secret’s Model. She was perfect on every level except one, she wasn’t his wife.

Eddie stopped for a second to catch his breath. His pants were around his ankles she was touching his boxers and he felt a combination of excited and scared and stupid. How had he gotten himself into this position. Abby believed in him and he was betraying her in the worst way.

He asked Joanne for five and went into the washroom. He looked in the mirror and asked himself ‘’Am I that guy’’

When he came out an incredibly beautiful Joanne was lying naked on the bed. ‘’Join me, let’s make love.’’

Eddie started moving for the bed and the strangest thing in his life happened, he saw what would be the ultimate buzz kill for any man, the image of his departed Mother In Law. Shirley had been a lovely woman and always encouraged Eddie and told him how grateful she was to have him around to look after Abby and the kids. ‘’Eddie, there are so many guys who don’t take the sanctity of marriage seriously. As soon as they get a chance they cheat, I’m glad my daughter found the exception to the rule. I hope you never let us down.’’

It was the hardest moment (in many ways) in Eddie Silk’s life. Instead of going to the bed, he picked up his shirt. He looked at the gorgeous Joanne. ‘’You’re beautiful, incredible, have a phenomenal body, and you’re smart. You’re also an excellent kisser. I just can’t cheat on my wife, the kissing was not good, but actual sex would be worse. I am sorry Joanne, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I’m leaving, I can’t do it. I can’t live my life with a secret as beautiful as you are.’’

Before Joanne could respond, Eddie buttoned up his shirt grabbed his belt and headed out the door. He moved quickly and as soon as he got back to his suite, he undressed and jumped in the shower.

The next morning he got up early and went to the gym to burn off extra energy. Much to his shock, Joanne was there, she jumped up on a heavy bag and wrapped her legs around it and leaned her back back. She saw him and smiled ‘’Don’t worry Eddie, no hard feelings, you’re the first guy who ever turned me down and left me, but I loved the nobility of it all. Your wife is a lucky woman. I still want business from you and I’ll get in touch in Toronto.’’

Two guys came in and when they saw Joanne twisting and turning, they immediately tried to hustle her. Eddie discreetly left the gym.

When he arrived at the Toronto airport the next day, Abby was waiting for him. She gave him a passionate kiss and said she missed him. ‘’Eddie, I was thinking about it, we need to do more exciting things together. We’re getting predictable and boring.’’

Eddie laughed, and gave her a lingering kiss. ‘’I am going to tell you something, I was propositioned by a beautiful twenty something woman in Vegas, she was absolutely gorgeous but I ran away, because I am going to love you forever and ever with no secrets. Believe it or not she was more than half my age and we kissed. It meant nothing and I ran fast and furious. I love you Abby and I want you more today than ever before and sometimes it takes a proposition from another woman to serve as a reminder of how lucky you are to have the woman of your dreams as your wife. I’m sorry I kissed her, and had some lewd and lascivious thoughts but in the end I bolted before the situation escalated. I hope you can forgive me., I will never violate the trust we have. Nobody and no temptation could ever make me. I know that I am devoted to you and would never do anything to hurt you, kissing another woman has made me feel ashamed.

Abby looked at him in disbelief, ‘’I guess kissing another woman every twenty years is not the worst thing a husband can do, as long as that is as far as it went. I’ve got to tell you Eddie, I have some friends and they tell me when their husbands go to Vegas, they somehow think their actions have no repercussions, that they have some kind of get out of jail, go wild pass. I am glad you didn’t screw your brains out with another woman. I would've found out and we would have been done.

Here’s the deal, we are going home and having a nooner and the next time you go to Vegas, I’m going with. You know what’s really bizarre. I had a dream a couple of nights ago and my Mother was in it. She said ‘’Abby, don’t worry, your husband will always do the right thing. Isn’t that bizarre?” Eddie looked up at the sky and thought, ‘’Good Work Shirley, you are a guardian angel, you saved the family.''



Alan J. Schwarz

Alan Schwarz loves life. He is the founder of JAMS Productions, a television production company based in Toronto . His passion is writing.