Herschell Ostrepeller’s Best Worst Day

The Unexpected Can Kick You In The Cojones

Alan J. Schwarz

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Trays of filled champagne glasses
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Herschell Ostrepeller was very proud of his wife Evie. She had been working as a receptionist at Everingham, Strauss and Yu for six years and was making incredible money. She was trusted by the top lawyers in the firm and was often asked by one of the founding partners Chase Everingham to work on special projects.

The firm was having its annual Anniversary party and Herschell was very excited about it. The parties in the past had been opulent. There had been a two year moratorium when Covid hit, but now that the pandemic was no longer perceived as a big threat, things were back on track.

Every year at the annual party, five employees received special attention and bonuses for excellent work. The firm called it ‘’Going beyond the call of duty.’’ Evie was confident that she’d be one of the recipients of the big bonus (which also included round trip airfare to anywhere in Canada)for her commitment and dedication to her job.

The party was being held at the STORYS Building in downtown Toronto, not far from Evie’s office. Herschell had left work early to meet up with his wife. They had booked a room at the Hyatt Regency, so they didn’t have to worry about leaving early. Herschell was really looking forward to a wonderful night.

After checking into the hotel, Herschell called Evie who said she’d be over in a few minutes and asked if he had brought her new dress and shoes as she had instructed him. When Herschell told her he brought everything she requested, she told him she’d see him in a few minutes.

Herschell walked around the room and thought about taking a bath. The party was called for seven thirty and it was only five, and he liked the look of the tub in the bathroom. He then started thinking about all the people who had stood in the tub to take showers, and all of a sudden it didn’t seem that appealing any more. He took off his clothes and was just at his underwear when Evie entered the room with a flourish. She looked over at her husband ‘’If you’re planning to use the bathroom, you better be quick. I want to get ready and we only have an hour.’’ It wasn’t a warm greeting but that was Evie, she always got to the point.

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Alan J. Schwarz

Alan Schwarz loves life. He is the founder of JAMS Productions, a television production company based in Toronto . His passion is writing.