Covid-19, Shmendrick and Sex

Harry Shmendrick was restless. He hadn’t had intimacy (sex) in months. He had been corresponding with a woman, Megan Wentwright for weeks and he was anxious to meet her in person. They had met on an online dating site (Love, Love, PASSION) and they seemed to share much in common.

Canada had finally announced the vaccine rollout to fight Covid-19, and Harry was looking at a possible June injection. He didn’t think he could wait that long to meet Megan in person or his head would pop off his shoulders. At the same time, he was terrified about possibly contracting the virus.

That morning during the first of their thrice-daily zoom calls he made a suggestion. ‘’Megan, they’ve opened up some areas around us, we could meet for a coffee, we could practice safe distancing. I know these are perilous times but what do you think?’’

Megan looked demure and gorgeous. Every time Harry looked at her he felt an immediate and strong attraction and hoped she felt the same way. ‘’Harry, we don’t need a restaurant. We’re mature adults. Just come over to my house. It’s a nice big place, it’s so big we can play hide and seek.’’

Harry had been very conservative during the pandemic, but the infection numbers seemed lower and he was only meeting one person. ‘’Megan, that is the best offer I’ve had since quarantine started. As long as we’re careful I’m in, text me your address and I’ll be there in a few minutes.’’

The text arrived immediately. Megan lived in a very nice area of Toronto (Rosedale) and after checking himself out in the mirror three times, Harry walked out his door. He had his mask on as he walked down the eleven flights of stairs to the second level of the parking garage of his condo building. There was some anxiety but he was going to a nice secure place with a woman who had also been in home isolation, how dangerous could it be?

Harry had gone grocery shopping a few times but the majority of the time he adhered to the lockdown. The last thing he wanted was to contract Covid. He kept thinking about it as he put Megan’s address into his GPS system and headed off.

The drive to Megan’s house took about fifteen minutes. Traffic wasn’t all that heavy and when he pulled into the driveway he had mixed emotions. He kept asking himself if he was doing the right thing. When Megan came to the door he stopped overthinking and left the safety of his car for the unknown.

Megan was wearing tight jeans and a tank top and she looked beautiful, Harry just wished she was wearing a mask. He put his mask on as he approached her. She laughed. ‘’Harry, you don’t need a mask, I intend to visit your lips. So, unless you think I’m going to infect you, you can take it off.’’

Harry slowly removed his mask and she reached out and took his hand. ‘’Come on inside, there’s a lot to talk about.’’

The house was spacious and very well appointed. Megan took Harry to the couch and sat down beside him. ‘’You look better in person than you do on a computer screen. Harry I have to make a confession, I wanted you the minute I saw you. I think we are a match made in heaven.’’

Harry felt stunned, his libido was racing, he hadn’t even removed his jacket and Megan was leaning into him. She had incredibly soft lips. The kissing intensified and he was soon feeling her tongue circling around his mouth. Any thought of Covid was gone.

‘’I want you Harry, let’s go to my bedroom, it’s much more comfortable. All Harry was thinking was Megan had a perfect butt. She led him by the hand to the boudoir.

As soon as they were inside the door of the Master bedroom, Megan started kissing with a passion and Harry felt completely relaxed. She helped him move towards the bed. ‘’You know what’s funny, your name is Harry and mine is Megan, we could be very Royal.’’ Before Harry could answer he could feel Megan’s hands undoing his pants. It was like a fantasy coming true.

She stopped and looked at Harry. ‘’Would you like to help me take my top off while I nibble on your neck.’’ She pointed her arms to the sky and Harry slowly removed her tank top. She wasn’t wearing a bra and Harry couldn’t believe how perfect her breasts were.

‘’Good job Harry, now take your hands and slide them in my jeans. I want you to warm me up, and then help me take them off.’’ Harry obliged and couldn’t believe how warm Megan’s thighs were. The kissing intensified as he felt her hands pushing his pants down. ‘’Sit on the bed.’’ Harry sat down on the side of the bed and watched Megan pull his jeans completely off. She looked up at him. ‘’You know how to turn a girl on, Homer Simpson boxers, very sexy.’’ Before Harry could respond he could feel Megan’s luscious lips around his enlarged member. She was very gentle, but he hadn’t had sex for a while, so he was worried about losing his load. Just when he thought he was going to explode, she slowly removed her lips and said ‘’Time for you to get to work, I expect the same kind of treatment you just received.’’

Harry was not a big fan of cunnilingus, but Megan was waiting for him to please her. Harry had his clothes off and they started kissing again and rolled into the middle of the bed. He kissed her around her perfect triangle and he felt her hand slide down and grab his dick. It was a crazy feeling, he had been pent up in so many ways since the lockdown. Megan whispered in his ear, ‘’I want you deep inside of me, I want to feel you inside of me.’’

It was one of the most gratifying sexual experiences of Harry’s life. Megan was a pro, there was little talking but the intimacy was off the charts. They made love and Harry felt like a champion. He had been honestly worried that the sex scene would suffer because of a lack of action on his part, but if anything it was better. He felt like the King of the world.

After lying in silence for a couple of minutes, Megan looked at Harry and asked if he wanted to take a shower together. He jumped at the opportunity. They went into the shower and round two of passion started when something hit Harry hard. He hadn’t worn a condom, not only was he not covering his face with a mask, but he had unprotected sex. He was going to discuss the situation with Megan but once again they were engaged in love-making and it just didn’t seem like the right time to bring it up. Megan was incredible.

After the shower and drying off, they were lying in bed together when there were noises coming from the lower level. Megan shook her head ‘’Fuck, my son and his friends are here. Which means my husband will be back very shortly. Talk about shitty timing. You’re going to have to leave Harry.’’ Heath generally drops the boys off after their football practice and then goes and buys steaks. I think you have about a half-hour before he returns, but we don’t want to chance it.’’

Harry was stunned beyond words, kids, husband, sex, what was going on. ‘’I don’t understand, what do you mean your husband?’’ Megan smiled. ‘’Look you don’t have to worry, he’s a swinger, but since Covid we haven’t been able to get together with our group of friends. He would be pissed off because he couldn’t watch or anything. He won’t hurt you or anything like that, at least I don’t think he’d be upset, but it would be awkward, so you gotta go. By the way, the sex was outrageous. We are going to have to do it again. Do you want to join the swingers club we belong to?’’ Harry was stunned ‘’Uh, no, not my scene.’’

After dressing as fast as he could Harry wondered how he was going to get past Megan’s son and his friends. Megan didn’t seem to share the same concern. She threw her jeans and top on and reached for his hand. Harry didn’t want to give it, but he was trapped. They walked out of the room and down the stairs. The boys were playing Fortnight, and didn’t look over at them as they headed for the door.

As they exited, Megan tried to kiss him, Harry gave her his cheek. ‘’Okay, Honey, I’ll see you on Love, Love, Passion. I can’t wait to do this again. You were really good.’’ Harry didn’t know how to respond, he waved and headed for his car, and drove away. As he was heading home, he looked on the passenger seat beside him and there was a mask staring up. How could he have been so reckless?

Once home, he tried to decompress. He walked around the condo nervously, how could he have been so stupid? Megan was a part of a swingers club. That seemed so gross to him. He took another shower and went to his computer. The first thing he did was go to Love, Love, Passion and unsubscribe. He no longer wanted to be on the site. Next, he went to his phone and blocked Megan’s phone number. He didn’t want anything more to do with her. All these months he had been so cautious and now he was worried. She had her husband, and her son, and his friends in the house, who the hell knew where they had been. He even wondered if Megan was following any kind of safety protocol.

That night when he went to bed, he didn’t feel right. He started getting a headache and his throat seemed sore. He thought it must be psychological as he was certain you couldn’t catch Covid that fast. During the night he felt lousy and his private started to sting. Something was way off.

Over the next few days, he felt miserable and went and took a Covid test. The process was painful, but he was relieved when the test came back negative. It was the only negative test he had ever prayed for in his life. His testicles were still on fire, so he called his Doctor and explained the problem.

As it turned out Megan had given him a case of Chlamydia which required him to take medicine twice a day for ten days. It was embarrassing, but at least he had managed to somehow avoid getting Covid.

Harry thought about his life and his future and he came to a serious conclusion. Gd had given him a second chance to stay healthy and he would adhere to the strict rules of lockdown and mask-wearing. He would wait till he had been vaccinated before dating, and he would take a cold shower when the urge to merge hit him. He would also stay off dating sites. It just wasn’t healthy.

Harry’s resolve lasted a complete two weeks before boredom got the better of him. He decided to try ‘’Trusted Partners Looking for Love’’ It seemed like a dating site filled with mature and intelligent people. He was scrolling through profiles when he saw an incredibly attractive face, and he immediately canceled his membership. He was driven to quit the site by the pain in his loins. The face that he saw on Trusted Partners Looking For Love was Megan. She was obviously everywhere, and one case of crabs from her was enough to last a lifetime. He was back in quarantine, and his dating days during Covid were over. Megan had given him the best of times and the worst of times, and he wasn’t willing to go for more of the worst of times.

Alan Schwarz loves life. He is the founder of JAMS Productions, a television production company based in Toronto . His passion is writing.

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