Alan J. Schwarz
6 min readMay 26, 2020



Phillip Andrew Laren was feeling extremely nervous. It had been forty two days since his home isolation had started and he wanted to scream. His one bedroom apartment was comfortable, and he loved his balcony which looked out over a park, but he felt confined and he missed his girlfriend Tamara’s touch.

He thought about the number of times they started going out somewhere and ended up staying in bed.

Tamara was the most sensuous woman that Phillip had ever known. He wanted her to stay with him during Quarantine but she couldn’t. She was a Front Line Emergency Room Doctor and would not chance passing on Covid-19 to him. Phillip had written a declaration ‘’I Phillip Laren being of sound mind, am willing to wave any risks to be in quarantine with you. I am willing to take any and all chances as long as I can be with you. I know this sounds drastic, but I am willing to throw caution to the wind to spend time with you. I want you!’’

The response was not what Phillip wanted or hoped for. ‘’You are very sweet to risk your health to be with me, but I won’t let it happen. We did go out six times and I loved every date, but I don’t think we’re at the level where we move in together, especially during this very unpredictable time. When the risks are less, and I am in a better place in regards to social, I will get in touch. In the meantime, wear a mask, get gloves, wash anything you bring into your place with soap and water, use hand sanitizer or lysol/clorox wipes (if you can get them) and practice (sounds like you already are) social distancing. Wishing you safety through this pandemic, and Thanks again for being so amazingly sweet.’’

That was it, that was the end of his relationship with Tamara and he knew it. She didn’t say let’s keep in touch, let’s Zoom, let’s have cyber sex. She basically said see ya, don’t want to be ya and goodbye.

Phillip thought about his options and he called a woman he used to date named Maddy. He told her that while he was stuck in home isolation he had thought a lot about her and wondered if she wanted to quarantine together.

‘’You horny bastard, you’re up to your old tricks. We went out for about three months and the only thing you ever wanted to do was go back to your place and play hide the shlong. If you weren’t so damn good at it, I would have dumped you right away. But the truth is, after you stopped calling I met a guy who knows you, Brian Edelstern. Brian was a real gentleman and guess what, we are engaged. Brian’s just in the shower, but in your honour as soon as I see him wearing a towel I’m going to screw his brains out. We are riding out (and I mean ‘’riding out’’) this virus together, so it might not be a great idea for you to call anymore. When we’re not having sex, we’re talking about having sex, and two’s company, three is not for us. Wishing you a good life Phillip, and maybe stop thinking about me, it’s kind of creepy.’’

After hanging up the phone, Phillip seriously thought about rubbing one out, but the problem was, it just wasn’t as good as the act of intimacy with a woman who made him feel good. He threw on a porn movie, but after a couple of seconds he turned it off. It was a cheap parody of Captain Marvel, but it was so bad, he couldn’t stand looking at it.

Phillip paced around his apartment and thought about an escort service. He had never used one, but these were desperate times. He dialed the number for Sexy Sexy Company and he was shocked. The message was not what he expected ‘Thank You for calling Sexy Sexy Company. Due to the spread of Covid-19 and the risk it poses to our professional escorts, we will not do any home visits for under two thousand dollars. This is a one hour visit, to keep you company, and you must wear a mask, and glove. Any other type of latex you put on will cost you another thousand dollars. If you are interested in taking a chance and allow us to do an examination to make sure you don’t have Covid-19 please push three and provide your name, address and credit card number. If our Escort and her medical person feel you pose any kind of health risk, the two thousand dollars you have on deposit will be non-refundable.’’

Phillip called a couple of other agencies and received the same message. He wanted to have sex, but not that badly. It was crazy. He decided the only thing he could do was take a time out and chill and not think about how much he loved and wanted sex.

After going to his fridge and taking out a beer, Phil decided to go sit on his balcony and contemplate life. But before he did, he said a quiet prayer. ‘’Lord, help me. I am a person who needs touch and feel and intimacy. I need to have sex, and I don’t want it to be love by hand. Please Lord do something for me in regards to my problem and I promise I will donate more to charity, go to services more, and be a better person. If I don’t have sex soon, my head is going to explode.’’

After looking at himself in his Fridge’s door, he shook his head and walked over the balcony. He pushed the sliding doors open and sat down and looked over at the park. A couple were walking a dog and holding hands, besides that there wasn’t much action happening at all.

‘’Hello, Hello’’, Phil turned his head to the left and there was a gorgeous woman standing on the balcony next to his. ‘’How are you doing during this home isolation? I’m starting to go stir crazy. Believe it or not, my Boyfriend is a Doctor and he broke up with me cause he didn’t want to infect me with the virus and he said he couldn’t quarantine with me. Isn’t that crazy. It has been the longest forty two days I can remember. I know there has to be social distancing but I’m ready to break every rule going.’’

Phillip looked up at the sky. ‘’Well, since you’ve been in quarantine, and I’ve been in quarantine and my girlfriend broke up for the exact same reason your boyfriend did, maybe we are supposed to be together.’’ The woman looked at him ‘’My name’s Jill, I think you’re right.’’

‘’Can I offer you a beer?’’ Jill nodded and said ‘’Do you want me to come over?’’ Phil smiled and said ‘’Absolutely’’. As he headed to unlock the door and head to the Fridge he stopped and looked up. ‘’Lord, I always believed in you, but now more than ever. I promise to be a better person and I know that is what’s coming out of this pandemic. Thank You for saving me from an escort service and everything else. I will always be grateful. He then made a sizeable donation to charity.

That night Phillip Andrew Lauren had the best sex he had ever had in his life. He was no longer worried about what he was going to do during Home Isolation. His worries were all gone. He attributed it all to the power of prayer.



Alan J. Schwarz

Alan Schwarz loves life. He is the founder of JAMS Productions, a television production company based in Toronto . His passion is writing.